Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Happy in the Lord

Kyle reminded me of this quote.  What a beautiful profound task and privilege!  I am praying that ALL my days would be made manifest in this glorious truth.  Not merely for the sake of saying so, but rather, for the sake of my poor soul.  Amen.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Proverbs 29:11




 
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
 
 

Monday, November 5, 2012

God is so Good

Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
 
1 Cor. 12:7-10,  
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
 
I praise Him for His goodness to me.
 
 

Friday, November 2, 2012

Heirs of Grace

So thankful for our Lord Jesus who has suffered so that we can be heirs with Him!  What a mind boggling reality!  Praise the Lord!  May we, too, find joy in suffering so that others may know this glorious truth!  That is my prayer today.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Reformation Day!

Happy Reformation Day all you Protestants!

Davey the Donkey (Who Carried a King)

Tonight I read this story to the boys.  Kyle and I bought it a couple months ago, and I recall him reading it to the boys a time or two.  I, however, have not even peeked at it, to my shame, until the full reading of it just now. 

Well, in one sense, I am embarrassed I have not done so already, but once again, in God's glorious providence, I am thankful I hadn't.  It could not have been a more timely lesson for this young and aging soul. 

Davey was the only donkey who has not been chosen to do any sort of work, even though all his siblings and predecessors have!  He was so discouraged by this until one day he was chosen to carry Jesus the King of Israel on Palm Sunday.  He had been so filled with pride following this, that after he returned to his pen with his family, that he resented all other work he was finding he had to do.  Carrying olives was not his idea of work!  Carrying kings was.  At another time, he and his master had witnessed a man who was being beaten and carrying a beam on his shoulders while being mocked and spat on.  It was the King he has carried!  Through the weaving of the story, Davey learns that anyone who has the King for his Master, should be glad to carry any load he is given, and with joy.  Oh! how my heart is learning this on a deeper level every day and year that passes.  My sin is so great that I should expect to only carry "worthy" loads instead of any load that my Master should ordain.  I pray that my heart will be continued to be humbled by our great God who doesn't just give us any sack of "olives" to carry on our back.  He gives us only good gifts, and promises to carry us when we are too weak to do so.  Praise the One who paid my debt!  Praise Him from whom all blessings flow.  Woe to me if I think so highly of myself that I resent to carry anything that He asks me bear!  Lord, make me, mold me, do whatever you wish with me.  Amen.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Discipline is a Language

I had a nice conversation with a friend lately about the "s" word...spanking.  This friend had a very understandable and heartfelt concern that her child might not truly understand what a spanking might be when done at a young age.  I think this is a common theme throughout Western thought processes.  As a mother, I understand where this concern comes from.

However, I think that if we view discipline, which includes spanking at times, as a language instead of "hitting", there may be a better understanding of its purpose.  Like any language, it is learned, not understood from its primacy.  It is understood by its consistency, not spurts.  It "speaks" and "thinks"(walks) in wisdom with time, not impulse.

Of course, all these are graces of God.

Corem Deo.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Weeds

Weeds have been my new friend lately.  I have decided that I am a gardener this year.  Our first vegetable garden, lots of pretty plants, and new grass!  I am outside at least 3-4 times a week weeding, watering and mowing.....well mowing only once or twice a week.  :)  I love mowing lawns.  I think that if you love vacuuming, you'll love mowing!  It has that instant gratification and line making sharpness that I love. 

Anyway, back to weeds.  One of the reasons I am sure I love all of this is because I love thinking. (Big surprise!)  I have always loved processing, thinking, philosophizing, saving the world....you know. (Or maybe you don't.) :D  I also love silence.  At times I miss being 19, and going for drives.  Three hour drives. (Gas was only $.99)  Silence is so wonderful to me.  Talking to God, thinking about scripture, theology, my loves.  But WEEDS!!!  Weeds have given me another new thing to think about.  Weeds, like all things in nature, all point back to theology.  How?  Well, lots of ways.  Weeds can represent sin, people, wolves dressed like sheep, and can point back to our Lord's parables.  So many outlets!!  I am loving it.  One of the hugest highlights has been asking the Lord to show me which weed I am like OR what sins in my life represent the current weed I am pulling.  There are so many kinds!  But adjacently and regionally, there are only so many.  What weed is my pride?  What weed is my judgement?  Which weed is my attitude on _______?  You know....asking the Lord to show me my sin so I can rip it out! and ask Him to replace it with a pretty seed or flower.  Even after replanting (renewing my mind...Romans 12), I still need constant weeding.  That's all for now.  I have to go listen to my sweet babies play and laugh.  I will pray for more silence so I can think some more. ;)

Hope you are enjoying this season on sowing and weeding in your life!!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Tapestry of Providence

A lot has happened in my life that God has used to shape me. I could not list all, however, there are about a dozen or two that will never lose their sharpness. You can easily guess some of them, for example: deaths, marriage, childbirth. Others you would have to know me in order to know of them such as, different Providences regarding relationships and trials that the Lord has used to purify my soul. This recent one is very unique in many ways. As I have reflected on our current trial, I have observed that
1) God loves to provide for His me in incalculable ways,
2) If I am not careful to search for Him in trial, then I miss the tapestry He is weaving, and
3) God answers prayers and desires in seemingly difficult circumstances, sometimes completely "unconnected" when looking up close, but as you step back and look at the Weaver's work, it is more beautiful than you could could even imagine!

Many of you have inquired of what has happened in the last two weeks. Kyle and I thank you for your persistence. It makes us feel wrapped in care. Many of you have some details, and are reading this to learn more. Thank you for your patience! It has been our desire to fill you in, and also a big reason I am writing now. Some of you have had no idea what I am talking about....and still you wish me to hustle up. I promise I'll get there. Please know that the details might be endless, and I do not care to share them as much as I wish to magnify the Lord for His beautiful, unmistakable, matchless, and tender care He has so graciously bestowed on me, Kyle, and many others.

So what happened?

On April 3rd, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! Yay! We were joy filled and thankful! We love our little muchies....uhem....children. We had a young couple over that night and wanted so badly to spill the news, but of course, we withheld because we hadn't even told our family yet, and were planning to wait another week or two. During our meeting and family worship, I had to excuse myself because of pains I was having. Having had two miscarriages prior, I was a little concerned, but fixed my eyes on the Truth and chose to just pray and ask the Lord to get me through. He did, but the next day was feeling poorly again.

Per Kyle's leading, we had my blood drawn to get a hormone count and compare it to a future reading to see if I was in fact miscarrying or if our sweet baby was fine. Because of Kyle's class schedule, Nana and Papa were taking care of us that evening and we were still hopeful that everything was okay.

April 5th, was the day a lot happened physically and spiritually. I woke at 5am to the same pains I had on the 3rd, but they were worse. They continued through the morning and my doctors office was preparing me for the miscarriage as the pain I was experiencing was not within normal range anymore. I had already prepared myself in part, and just entrusted it to the Lord. After two doses of heavy pain reliever, my pain continued to increase. I was getting very concerned. After informing Kyle of this, we decided it was time to head to ER.

My brother-in-law/paramedic extraordinaire escorted me there while Kyle made his way. Appendicitis was a possibility as well as kidney stones, but on that ride, the pain shifted to my right side. Ectopic was on my mind. But pain defeated any deep thoughts I had. After getting some amazing drug that took my pain away (Praise the Lord!), I was headed to ultrasound. By the middle of the ultrasound, Kyle had arrived and he had no smile on his face. If you know Kyle, that is not common. Instead, I saw him immediately plead to the Lord to help his wife. Although he often prays with and for me, I had never seen his face in a state of helplessness. He was entrusting the his concern to the Lord. It was that moment that I resolved to trust the Lord with every detail of the day and my future state. We were given a peace by the Lord that I was familiar with....the one you can't explain. I had a prompting that I was going to need surgery no matter what the outcome and asked the Lord to save me from death. Also, a first.

After returning to ER, the wonderful doctor confirmed that I was, in fact, having another ectopic pregnancy, but unlike the prior, this baby(plus clotting) had managed to rupture my tube and had grown in size to fill my 1cm fallopian tube to an unbelievable 8 cm. Internal bleeding, multiple clots in my tube....surgery was happening now. I was very placid and calm, as was Kyle. Another testimony to the grace of our Lord. Details were explained, papers were signed...OR it was. They took my right tube out as it was not salvageable. (A salpingectomy for all you nerds like me.)

The Lord in His graciousness took care of me in so many countless ways I cannot even begin to tell you. Everything was smooth, clauses in paperwork were not needed, family was doing everything to care and pray for us. That is what happened, but it was just the beginning...

Back to my numerical list from above and my favorite part of this update:

1)The Lord has held us in His hand in such a way that the storm has not seemed as great as the depth of the explanation might paint it to look. The Lord has taught us so clearly of the hope of heaven, that our doctrine has assuaged much of our fear and grief. And a newer realization has been brewing in my heart in the last few months. It has reminded me that as I seek to add more Kingdom children, I have done so by ushering another sweet soul to His care. What a privilege!!

Our family and friends have been so AMAZING in providing babysitting in our home, meals, prayers, notes, etc ...we have had no time to be anything but thankful!! Truly, this has been a blessed experience and I pray for more times in which I can rely more fully on Him!

2) Knowing and TRUSTING that He is working ALL things for my good has to change the way I think. It has. What else is there to do than to trust my God with my life in which He has made and sustains and has numbered. I am saddened to the depths of my soul for those who do not have God as their Savior. What else is there to do?! I have a refreshed view of my "neighbors" and how I so desire to share the depth of the riches of His glory. O, how I long to see men and women and children living for the only God for whom this world was made for!

3)When reflecting on this last thought (while not mentioning all of them), the Lord brought to mind my grandmother, Ida Franzen. One of the most beautiful women I have and will ever know. At her funeral, dozens of people mentioned of her most lovely and godly attributes, her gratitude. Gratitude to people and to God. I remember distinctly thinking and praying that God would make me that woman. "Lord, make me known as a thankful woman, and may I always thank you."

I thank God for that impression. As I stepped back to look at the tapestry he has been weaving these past weeks, He allowed me to see that He has, and is, answering my prayer. I have had very little time to even gaze upon my feelings, and I am thankful for that. Reflection is for looking back at something, and the discipline of "being" in something looks different. He made me a thankful woman by sending so many people, instantly and constantly, to physically care for me and my family, pray for me, make meals for us, send cards, flowers, call to check and see how we were doing, etc.

I have never been so thankful in all my life. Never. I am so THANKFUL for this trial and to be a mere piece of clay of my Potter's. Without it, I would not have an answered prayer. God is GOOD. He is KIND. He is in CONTROL. He has my heart. He is WORTHY of all our praise. Praise God, all creatures of our God and King! PRAISE HIM!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

O Happy Day!

Kyle and his new Bentley.






Sunset in St. Maarten.







My love.









Cockelshell beach in St. Kitts.











Little Bay, St. Maarten





St. Maarten.....a reoccurring theme. I loved this place!












St. Maarten water taxi.






Brewers Bay, British Virgin Islands Another FAVORITE!





Tortola, B.V.I.


It is a happy day for many reasons...seven years ago tonight was the eve of our wedding day, we just disembarked from our wonderful Carribean cruise vacation today, and we get to see our beloved children tomorrow! What a happy day!




There is so much to write, but I am amazingly tired from all our vacationing! :)



Here are a few of my most favorite pictures from our not so little getaway. Enjoy!














































Contemplating How Short He Wants It

Contemplating How Short He Wants It

Good Haircutting Form

Good Haircutting Form

One of His Many Girlfriends-Dede

One of His Many Girlfriends-Dede

I am So Tired, I Can't Even Smile

I am So Tired, I Can't Even Smile

Las Vegas Vacation

Las Vegas Vacation
april 08

Off to Church

Off to Church
i am very solemn on sunday mornings

Eating Breakfast

Eating Breakfast
you can kinda see my teeth!

I'm Here!

I'm Here!
proud Grandpa

Newborn Gunnar

Newborn Gunnar
with Grandpa

8 Days Old

8 Days Old